Tuesday, December 31, 2019

My Word for 2020

Each year I pick a word to focus on. 2018 was abide & 2019 was joy. I started thinking and praying about my word for 2020 and even did a narrowing down activity and came up with the word 

Stand

I didn’t have a clue what that meant really. Stand firm? stand up for myself? Stand tall? I didn’t really know why that was my focus word until today. I was searching for verses with the word stand in them and came across a 4 day Bible study called Stand by Marion Jordan Ellis on You Version...day 1 told me exactly why my word is stand. 
Read below

“God’s Word is filled with specific promises to those who stand—promises of blessings, eternal rewards, and everlasting life. Jesus summed up the promises with these words: “You will win life.” The battles we face are not in vain. Our fight to overcome sin is not futile. The struggle to hold fast to faith in the midst of trials is not pointless, because great honor and blessings await those who stand firm.

I don’t know about you, but I need this word of encouragement. From watching persecution increase across the globe to seeing Christians falling into sin at unprecedented rates, I can’t turn on the television or tune into social media without seeing the church (in all its forms) taking a serious beating. In the past few years, I’ve felt that darkness has not only increased but also seems to be winning. Christian values are mocked, and those who hold them are maligned.

When I look at the world with my natural eyes, it’s easy to cave in to fear and feel discouraged, lose hope, and question the promises of God. It seems as though Christ followers are down for the count and the Enemy is doing a victory dance in the end zone. Call me competitive, but I don’t relish the idea of being on the losing end of anything. When I see depravity escalating or suffering mounting, I find myself, much like the disciples, wide-eyed and wondering what Jesus is up to. At those times, when I’m tempted to wave the white flag and just call it a day, I find myself fighting for hope.

Hope. What a beautiful word and desperately needed reality for Christ followers. Hope moves beyond intellectual belief. It’s supernatural faith that takes spiritually weak muscles paralyzed with fear and doubt and gives them the miraculous ability to stand. Hope perseveres even when it seems that all is lost in the natural realm.

Here’s the thing: I know the end of the story. Our Enemy is defeated and Jesus wins. The Bible is crystal clear on this fact. But on those dark days, when it seems like we’re on the losing team, I find myself asking, “What do we do, Lord?” Turning to His Word, I discover the answer: we stand.

Please hear me: this isn’t a simple Christian cliché worthy of bumper-sticker status. Jesus gave us the word stand as an answer to our struggles, fears, and battles. How do we as Christ followers press on toward victory in this age of rampant temptations, persecutions, and accusations? How do we remain steadfast when our hearts are broken wide open with grief and the Enemy chooses those moments to mock our faith in God? How do we respond when we are called names for our biblical convictions? How do we react to the injustices we see in the world? How do we resist the pressure to conform morally? How do we get back up when we’ve fallen?” 

“You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. Everyone will hate you because of me. But not a hair of your head will perish.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭21:16-18‬ ‭

So I will focus on Standing this year! What is your word for 2020??? 

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Merry Christmas

We had such a fabulous Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! We had a doctor appointment yesterday! I’m healing beautifully. I had a few places that looked red and irritated which worried me...turns out it was a stitch working it’s way to the surface and once he removed those the irritation seemed to vanish! He then told me to give my body 2 more weeks of healing and then I can start lightly working out - as in 5 pounds of weight and low reps. I also do not have to go back in for 6 weeks! I will then also meet with my oncologist and check my cancer markers at that time. It will be a full afternoon! 
After my appointment we ate lunch at Chick-fil-a and headed to our traditional Christmas Eve movie. We saw Jumanji. It was really good - the language was terrible but the story was cute and funny. 
After our movie we headed back to Livingston for Christmas Eve service and then home for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner of pizza and root beer! We watched Home Alone 2, opened sibling gifts,  read Twas the Night Before Christmas and then it was off to bed to wait for Santa!! 




















Christmas morning came and no one wanted to wake up!!! At 8:18 Cole finally got up so we woke up everyone and saw what Santa brought us! 
After opening gift we started breakfast and my parents and brother and brother-in-law came over for the day. We enjoyed opening gifts with them and then began on lunch. Michael and I love making Christmas lunch. It’s one of our favorite things to do. After lunch we just hung out and played games and enjoyed being a family. We hope you had a very Merry Christmas!!! 















Saturday, December 14, 2019

2019 Medical Look Back

Looking back on 2019 I am blown away by what all I've been through. 


  • I spent 23 1/2 hours in surgery this past year. 
  • 1 hour of port removal surgery where I was fully awake...So I guess that makes total surgery hours 24 1/2!
  • I spent 9 days in the hospital - 3 of which were in the ICU
  • 11 weeks of drains
  • 1 blood transfusion 
  • 30 days of radiation
  • 12 weeks of time off of work
  • 2 mastectomies - my doctor said this last surgery he basically did a 3rd mastectomy because of all the tissue damage caused by radiation. 
  • Full reconstruction using the DIEP Flap method...if you are curious about DIEP Flap surgery here is how breastcancer.org explains it "In a DIEP flap, fat, skin, and blood vessels are cut from the wall of the lower belly and moved up to your chest to rebuild your breast. (In a properly performed DIEP, no muscle is cut or removed; if you’re having DIEP flap, make sure this will be the case.) Your surgeon carefully reattaches the blood vessels of the flap to blood vessels in your chest using microsurgery. Because no muscle is used, most women recover more quickly and have a lower risk of losing abdominal muscle strength with a DIEP flap compared to any of the TRAM flap procedures." (you can read more on breastcancer.org)
  • I took 12 weeks of oral chemotherapy 
  • I spent over 100 days on antibiotics 
  • I have had over 15 different prescriptions 
  • Countless blood draws
  • A mammogram (the last one I will ever have to have by the way...)
  • A CT Scan
  • A chest X-Ray
  • I've been fully released from my surgical oncologist!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
  • I've been put on yearly check ups from my radiology oncologist!!!!!!!
  • And I've moved to 3 month oncology check-ups 
That is CRAZY for me to type and read. It has been a hard year...but...But God. He has been so so good to me. He has put a song in my heart. He has given me heart of positivity that could ONLY come from Him and Him alone. People have often said to me - I don't know how you do it...and the answer is literally - God. He is the only way I have walked this path and can still smile. I'm honestly unsure how people walk through any tragedy with out the hope of Christ. So very thankful for the saving grace of Jesus. 

If you are reading my blog, and you don't know that saving grace and hope of Jesus please reach out to me...I would love to share my savior with you. If you are thinking - I could never go through what you are going through...Well the answer is - yes you could. If you were faced with this you would do whatever it takes to fight and get healthy. But, I will tell you - doing this battle with out Jesus...I'm not sure what the outcome would have been like. 
Praying your Christmas season is filled with peace, joy, hope, and rest. 
#alreadywon
D'Ann

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Drains...

With this last surgery I woke up with 6 drains coming out of me. I have to say that the drains are the most annoying part of all of this. Back in January, I only had 2 drains but I had those puppies for 8, EIGHT, weeks. It was not fun. 
So why are they so bad? Well, with my drains there was about a foot + of drain tubing inside of my body for each drain. These tubes lay on nerves, muscles, and various other things that cause a lot of discomfort. In January I was having severe pain in my back - about the size of a quarter...it hurt so much I was convinced it was a tumor growing in my lungs or on my ribs. My doctor pulled out the drain - which went nowhere near my back - and the pain immediately stopped. Also with the drains, you have to lay on your back, on an incline. I am NOT a back sleeper. I am 100% a side sleeper. So...with my drains in, I’m not sleeping well. How do the drains stay in you might be asking? (No one is asking lol) Well, each drain is stitched to a small piece of skin on the outside of your body. Any time my drains were pulled, bumped, moved etc I felt the sharp pinch of the drain being pulled on that skin. It’s terrible. Luckily, they prep you and tell you - hey, the part you will hate the most are the drains! But, how was I supposed to fully know just how annoying those suckers were?!?! I guess you can’t be fully prepared for the annoyance or the pain. 
So last week we took 5 out of 6 drains out and today #6 was officially taken out! I was so excited. I think I’m most excited about sleeping on my side tonight. I’m also excited that I can wear my pants correctly now 🤣. Two of the drains came out of my hips so all my pants had to go under the drains. It was fun trying to get them to stay in place. I’m thankful that this part of my journey is over! 

#alreadywon